how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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