I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
