Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize