i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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