Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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