You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
