i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
