I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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