apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
