I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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