I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
