you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
