when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I did not marry a roomba.
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