Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
