then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
