I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
