some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
