i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
