I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
