You're my little dorito
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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