sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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