some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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