where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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