i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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