Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
