I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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