i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
so much tequila, so little girl.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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