my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
