My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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