so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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