I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize