If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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