I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
