the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
