what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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