You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
how drunk are you?
Several
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize