marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
