Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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