Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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