Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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