He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
