U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize