Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
