Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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