I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
