can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
