So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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