dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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