their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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