Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
