i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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