Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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