It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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