i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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