I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
