You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
