that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
